I woke to find a piece of paper
sticking to my face.
I'd slobbered on my textbooks
and my hair was a disgrace.

My clothes were badly rumpled
and my eyes were glazed and red.
My binder left a three-ring
indentation in my head.

I slept through class, and probably
I would have slept some more,
except my students woke me
as they headed out the door.

Falling Asleep in Class, Copyright © 2003, Kenn Nesbitt. All Rights Reserved.
Reprinted by permission of the author.

Lefty lifted, on his left,
aloft a hefty crate.
Lefty lifted, on his right,
a slightly lighter weight.

So though Lefty lifted deftly,
shifting as he lifted,
Lefty, listing swiftly leftly,
drifted off a cliff did.

Last rites were read for Lefty Wright
to Wrights he left bereft.
Despite his might, from quite a height,
yes, Lefty Wright has left.

Lefty The Lifter, Copyright © 2003, Kenn Nesbitt. All Rights Reserved.
Reprinted by permission of the author.

I messed up the assignment
that you gave us yesterday.
It burbled from its test tube
and went slithering away.

It wriggled off the table
and it landed with a splat,
convulsed across my bedroom floor
and terrorized the cat.

It shambled down the staircase
with a horrid glorping noise.
It wobbled to the family room
and gobbled all my toys.

It tumbled to the kitchen
and digested every plate.
That slimy blob enlarged
with every item that it ate.

It writhed around the living room
digesting lamps and chairs,
then snuck up on our napping dog
and caught him unawares.

My sister ran off screaming.
My mom was all agog.
I had to throw it out because
my homework ate my dog.

Science Homework, Copyright © 2003, Kenn Nesbitt. All Rights Reserved.
Reprinted by permission of the author.

I'm craving something different.
I'm in need of something new.
Some pickles, some lasagna,
or a chocolate cake or two.

I'd like a dozen pizzas
and some carry-out Chinese,
a turkey, ham and pot roast
with potatoes, pies and peas.

I want a bag of burgers,
and a barrel full of rice.
I'll wash it down with twenty quarts
of soda pop on ice.

My taste buds need variety
to pass between my lips.
No more of just the same old thing!
I'm sick of fish and ships.

Sea Monster's Complaint, Copyright © 2003, Kenn Nesbitt. All Rights Reserved.
Reprinted by permission of the author.

The cows were careening around in the den.
The rhinos went right through the ceiling and then
my mom made me promise that never again
would I buy them a new trampoline.

The Elephants Bounced, Copyright © 2003, Kenn Nesbitt. All Rights Reserved.
Reprinted by permission of the author.

To begin an undertaking
of such monumental scope
first the barber needs a scaffold
and a thousand yards of rope.

He'll need leather gloves and work boots.
He'll need garbage cans and rakes,
plus a parachute and safety net
in case the giant shakes.

He'll ascend by helicopter
to the giant's lofty dome,
with a pair of swords for scissors
and a pitchfork for a comb.

Then for weeks and weeks he'll labor;
he will cleave and slice and hack.
He will chop and saw and sever
like a raving lumberjack.

Turning forests into wastelands
slashing tangles everywhere,
you may hear him yelling "TIMBER"
as he's felling strands of hair.

When at last the barber's finished
then it fills his heart with sorrow
when the giant says, "My hair grows fast;
I'll come again tomorrow."

When a Giant Has a Haircut, Copyright © 2003, Kenn Nesbitt.
All Rights Reserved.
Reprinted by permission of the author.